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I’m not so sure about this whole two-door coupe thing. Manufacturers have been hiding rear door handles for quite some time now, but I’m no oxymoron. If it’s got a rear door, it ain’t no coupe. Still, you’ve got to give Mercedes credit for building a sports sedan looks like a mini-Maybach-- or the unholy alliance between a limo company and an LA chop shop. It’s a big gamble: tossing a deeply conservative design heritage into the waste basket in pursuit of a new attitude.
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At a stroke, the over-represented German marque has transformed itself from mass luxury provider into a cutting edge manufacturer of automotive shock and awe. Saying that, I’m still not entirely convinced. I reckon the Sultans of Stuttgart got the proportions wrong. The CLS’ roof needs a longer downhill slope; the back end looks positively stubby from some angles. And the trunk lid’s gentle curve strikes me as a bit woosy for a machine with sporting aspirations. But what do I know? The CLS has been universally hailed as a supercool style statement by the one group of people who count: wealthy older men who want to draw attention to their hip happeningness without having to wear a baseball cap backwards. Hopefully, they’ll all have short friends. As you might expect from a car with a roof more steeply raked than BMX ramp, anyone who’s ever played college basketball risks spinal compression. Even slightly sub-six footers will find that getting in and out of the back of a CLS is an exercise in 50’s paranoia (duck and cover). What’s more, the CLS offers its rear passengers less sideways visibility than an armored car, while the view forwards is blocked by headrests. Basically, rear passengers are ensconced in a leather-lined luxury isolation chamber, complete with generous legroom and independent climate control.
![]() The CLS is an E-Class in drag; the driver gets all the usual controls doing all the usual things. This is a good thing. In this brave new world of incomprehensible mouse-driven iDrive controllers, where tuning an AM radio station is harder than conjugating the verb “futz” in Latin, the E-Class environs are a model of simplicity, clarity and cohesion. The one difference of any note is the huge plank of burled hardwood adorning the CLS’ upper dash-- a rather obvious attempt to separate the plebian E from the plutocratic CLS. In terms of cost and performance, Mercedes is pitching the CLS between the E and S-Class. To further differentiate the funky CLS from its stable mates, Mercedes decided to hone the new model’s sporting aspirations. Their boffins widened the E-Class' track, lowered its center of gravity, fitted larger wheels (18”) and brakes, and bestowed a faster ratio upon the CLS' variable assistance rack and pinion steering system. Oh, and Mercedes fitted their superb Airmatic suspension as standard.
![]() Put it all together and you’ve got a sports sedan that can sprint, cruise and leap long states in a single bound. Mind you, we are talking about the CLS 500, which holsters Mercedes’ tried and tested 300-horse V8. This venerable powerplant is still a peach. Married to Merc’s silken seven-speed autobox, the V8 offers seamless thrust at low speeds and indefatigable uber-oomph for high velocity assaults on the CLS’ 155mph top end. There’s even a little growl under full load to let you know you’re in it to win it. That said, the AMG version would surely offer an even quicker and more convincing trip to the CLS’ electronic rev limiter. The CLS is surprisingly nimble on its rubber feet. Mercedes’ Airmatic suspension has proven its ability to eliminate the dreaded rolly-pollies and floaty-drifties on many a heavyweight machine. In this application, the computer-controlled system grants the CLS superb body control through the most vicious corners. Tardy commuters can slice through their local twisties at a fair old whack without once worrying about spilling their Venti bold on their freshly laundered shirt. Quite what the Sport 1 setting does, or how it differs from Sport 2, is a question to vex even an experienced automotive journalist. Button or no button, this baby books.
![]() In short, the Mercedes CLS retains all that’s good about the E-Class, with a dollop of additional sporting capability. CLS buyers sacrifice nothing but rear headroom and visibility (and a pile of cash) for a huge amount of charisma. Whether or not you like the CLS’ looks is, of course, subjective. But love it or hate it, the CLS is a style statement to go.
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