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For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At COMDEX recently, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced, car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. Oh yeah, and last but not least . . . you'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off!  

thats pretty funny  

that was hilarious.  just great... GM forgot to say that they would also have a complete monopoly similar to microsoft as well, rather than where they currently stand, but i doubt they wanted to bring that point up.

the Mac thing was great, just perfect, lol  

LOL that's sooo great  

LOL... made me laugh. Good post, although I disagree with the Apple Car.  

Don't forget Linux:

You built it yourself out of discarded scrap from the junkyard, yet it outruns anything on the road. Some part on it somewhere is held in place with a rubber band.

No one else can drive it because it takes too long to explain the procedure on how to make it go.

It has four gear shift levers.

There is always some fundamental part not attached to it, awaiting a vendor to provide it, such as the trunk lid, the back seat, the tachometer, or the radio.

It has no air conditioning. You know of people who have installed air conditioning themselves, but you haven't gotten around to learning how to do that yet.

Your car only runs really really well on the freeway. It can go 120 mph and get 300 mpg while doing it. When going slower than 45 mph in a residential area, it often sputters and dies, refuses to change gears, or won't fit in parking spaces. Many fine restaurants will not allow your car in the parking lot.

Sometimes the gas you buy works well, other times it chokes the engine. You become very conscious of the availability of gas in the exact formulation that works best. You have a notebook with dozens of pages of notes on the subject.

The engine you bought was free and runs great. The steering wheel and gearshift cost you money, though, and they suck. You bought them on credit and haven't paid for them yet.

Even though there is no user's manual, you have cobbled one together from various books. It is 1,200 pages long and some of it is in Dutch.

There are eight places this car is preprogrammed to drive itself. Amazingly, this works reliably, and you use it when you can. Unfortunately only three of them are places you actually want to go - but you go to the other places just because you can.

There is one place where everyone who drives your type of car goes to meet. When there, it is difficult to get a word in edgewise because everyone knows more than you - or at least they think they do. When drivers of other cars wander in by accident, you steal their hubcaps and tell them what fools they are.

You are an expert on XP type cars and often pull over to help one which has suddenly died due to a missed registration key.

In a conversation with XP and OS X car owners, you invariably come off as the one person who actually has a clue about how a car operates.

You live under the misguided concept that everyone will want to build their own car someday.  

"The engine you bought was free and runs great. The steering wheel and gearshift cost you money, though, and they suck. You bought them on credit and haven't paid for them yet."

Hahahahaha  

"10. Oh yeah, and last but not least . . . you'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off!"
some cars do have a start button and you do need to press it to turn the car off. I guess that's something cars share with computers!  

If Bill Gates is so smart why doesn't he build his own car company.  

jching:
If Bill Gates is so smart why doesn't he build his own car company.

yeah.. maybe like a jetson car or something that does everything he talked about